Does this relationship still make sense for me?
Perhaps you have already asked yourself: “What is the difference between a happy and an unhappy relationship?” We tend to have quick answers: shared hobbies, respect, or the right kind of communication are all considered important for a happy relationship. But what about the dimension of meaning? The deeper meaning of a relationship? The idea that a relationship or partnership is more than just the sum of its parts? The sense of connection and a shared future?
For these questions, I offer you space and time through couples counseling and couples therapy, adapted according to Viktor Frankl and Alfried Längle.
Couples counseling and therapy – rethought through logotherapy and existential analysis
Frankl and Längle developed logotherapy and existential analysis for their work in counseling and psychotherapy. At the core of these approaches lies the question of life’s meaning and the search for meaning in life. Is the meaning of life not especially tangible in a fulfilling partnership? Is the experience of meaning not a clear indicator of a happy relationship? A relationship or long-term partnership is, ultimately, nothing more and nothing less than a life lived in meaning. And what could be more meaningful than a life that is both fulfilling and fulfilled?
Many other forms of therapy and counseling focus on solving problems or changing behavior. In contrast, couples counseling and therapy based on existential analysis and logotherapy address a more fundamental dimension: discovering and strengthening meaning within a relationship or partnership. Meaning is closely connected to other essential aspects of human life: freedom and responsibility, values and beliefs.
- The will to meaning: Following Frankl, I assume that we as human beings strive for meaning and want to live meaningful lives. In a relationship or partnership, this meaning becomes tangible when you grow together, support one another, and overcome challenges.
- Freedom and responsibility: Even within a partnership, you are fundamentally free. This means you can shape your relationship freely. However, this freedom goes hand in hand with responsibility. You are responsible for your relationship; you cannot avoid making decisions and standing up for your own happiness.
- Values and beliefs: Meaning becomes concrete in what you represent and stand for. You live according to values and hold certain beliefs. Which of these are expressed in your partnership? What truly matters to you in your relationship? And which values do you share? Becoming aware of these values and communicating them with your partner allows you to reshape your relationship and place it on a solid foundation.
Couples counseling and therapy: what is the difference?
Both counseling and therapy aim to improve a relationship, but they start from different points:
- Couples counseling: If you can name your problems and want to address a specific challenge, I support you as a psychologically trained counselor. This might involve communication difficulties in everyday life or differing needs for intimacy. The focus is on practical solutions and strategies developed from a shared horizon of values and beliefs.
- Couples therapy: This goes deeper. It addresses the often hidden causes underlying everyday conflicts. Unresolved wounds frequently come to the surface. At the same time, such fundamental conflicts often begin to resolve when you and your partner discover a new horizon of meaning that you had not previously seen.
Counseling and therapy for couples as a love letter to your relationship
Imagine setting out on an exciting journey of discovery. But this journey does not take you to distant countries—it leads you into the depths of your partnership.
Through the dimension of meaning, you come to know yourself and your partner on an entirely new level. You may discover unexpected strengths and resources. And if you find a meaning that you share with your partner, you will experience how it can carry your relationship through even stormy times.
This is what logotherapy and existential analysis can offer couples. They are like a love letter to your relationship, reminding you why you fell in love in the first place.
It is up to you!
If you are ready to steer your relationship yourself, even in turbulent waters—or, less dramatically, to awaken it from a dormant state—then counseling and therapy grounded in the question of meaning can provide reliable orientation.